Own Me Read online

  Also available from Lily X

  and Carina Press

  New World: Stay with Me

  New World: Made for Me

  New World: Breathe with Me

  New World: Safe with Me

  Seventh Star Series (F/F Omegaverse)

  Let Me Be Yours (October 2022)

  Never Yours (coming soon)

  I’m Yours (coming soon)

  Forever Yours (coming soon)

  Truly Yours (coming soon)

  Content Warning

  New World: Own Me deals with topics some readers may find difficult, including soft bondage and power play between consenting adults.

  New World: Own Me

  Lily X

  They say “write what you know,” and I know Austy Burkett.

  I have an Austy of my own—a weird, wild and wonderful partner who is always her authentic self. Over the past six years, she’s given me a lifetime of belly laughs and one too many WTF moments. But I wouldn’t trade these for anything else in this world or the new one.

  This book is for you, Zahara.

  Welcome to the New World! I promise the long journey was worth it.

  Let’s get you registered. Which type of mod did you get to help you acclimatize to our environment?

  My, my. Invisible, huh? We’ll refer to you as nonmod, since your modifications

  don’t have any physical alterations. That would’ve set you back a pretty penny, though. Which Star are you heading toward?

  Royal One, of course. The urban heart of our cluster of Stars. You’ll fit right in!

  If you have a minute, perhaps I could introduce you to some of the other

  modded groups in our New World? They’re fascinating!

  Fanger Hybrid

  In the modded hybrid family, Fangers are the most common. Among all the genetic modifications available today, this was the first affordable option

  offered to the people of Earth to allow the human body to adapt to the

  New World.

  This group is characterized by their sharp incisors, heightened senses and

  ability to bond with their Mates through blood sharing. As the largest group

  of hybrids in the cluster, they have developed specific rituals for mating and

  finding their Blood Mates.

  Beast Hybrid

  Beast hybrids are renowned for their enhanced senses. They have admirable scenting abilities and a keen sense of hearing.

  Their mods are characterized by two curling ram’s horns on both of their

  temples, each with its own unique markings, equivalent to fingerprints.

  It is widely understood that Beast hybrids generally have surly attitudes

  due to the sensory overloads of everyday life.

  Felin Hybrid

  Felins are a dying race in the cluster, and some have adopted clan-like

  behavior to ensure the continuity of their kind. The Felin gene is a recessive

  one, meaning that in Beast, Fanger or nonmod pairings, the offspring will

  show no or few Felin traits.

  They are characterized by pointed ears, long, flowing tails, small incisors

  and diamond-shaped slits along their noses for enhanced scenting.

  As a group, they are known for being skittish and territorial.

  The New World

  A group of eight planets set in the Cancer Cluster, a two-week journey from

  Old Earth. Each planet has its own unique ecosystem and history.

  In the third book, we get a glimpse of Royal One, where elite urbanites thrive

  in the top tier of society while others rise and grind to make a decent living. Royal One was the first planet to be colonized by Old Earth over three

  centuries ago.

  As the largest Star in the cluster, Royal One is characterized by towering skyscrapers and urbanites with an eccentric sense of style.

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Excerpt

  Chapter One

  Austy

  “Mama, I got cut!”

  The wail rose over the happy babble of kids covered in all manner of juice. I didn’t need to look up to know that Kenzie—Cedra and Twyla’s little girl—was barreling towards us with her bleeding finger clutched in one hand.

  “Well now,” I said, crouching low to get her attention. “Look at that.”

  I peered at her finger critically, then turned back to Twyla who was already reaching for the med kit in the kitchen.

  “What do you think, T?” I said gravely. “This looks serious. A fourth-degree injury.”

  “Fourth?” Kenzie’s eyes, a mirror of Twyla’s dark brown gaze, filled with fat tears.

  “Yeah, fourth,” I said, trying my best to keep the giggles at bay. “I think we’ll just have to take the whole arm off. I don’t see any other way around this. Right, T?”

  Twyla bent on the other side of Kenzie, pursing her lips.

  “Don’t scare my child, Austy,” she warned.

  “Is it true?” Kenzie’s little lips quivered, her eyes ping-ponging between Twyla and me.

  I heard Cedra’s voice over the shouts of the children gathered for Kenzie’s birthday. “If you scare my child, Austy, I’ll come over in the middle of the night wearing a clown mask and look into your window.”

  I couldn’t help the shudder that came over me. I really shouldn’t have confessed to watching Old Earth movies and developing a fear for those smiley-faced bastards.

  “Fine,” I grumbled as Twyla wiped away the blood and tears, then bandaged that tiny finger.

  “You know what the cure for a fourth-degree injury is?” I asked as Kenzie examined her new gauze accessory.

  She shook her head.

  I met Twyla’s eyes and said, “Lots of kisses!”

  The little girl squealed as we attacked her cheeks from both sides, pecking little kisses all over her face.

  When she squirmed free and ran off, Twyla caught my eye and laughed. I bumped shoulders with her, standing against a far wall as we watched Kit supervise a game of musical chairs with her triplets and a bunch of other kids from the community.

  Peals of laughter pierced the air, and I found myself wishing I could join the fun. Unfortunately, Kit had shoved me away minutes ago after I’d tried to sneak in among the young ones. She pointed out that I’d have an unfair advantage, but I secretly thought she was trying to up the odds for one of her boys to win.

  Kit’s Mate, Ana, stood close by, handing out drinks and food to the parents that hung around to watch the fun. I’d tried to help her pour the refreshments, but after stuffing too many cucumber sandwiches in my mouth, I’d been warned to leave the area and never to return.

  I sighed as I watched my friends with their children, the exhaustion on their faces mingling with such pride as their little ones ran around in circles, trying to beat the music. I’d been there when Kenzie
was born eight years ago, and then the triplets just a year later. I remembered cuddling them close and thinking someday, I would have this, too.

  A partner who adored me.

  A family to love.

  But someday had yet to come.

  “How are you, Austy?” Twyla asked, sipping on some kind of kiddie juice.

  “Fine, I guess.” I couldn’t help the sigh that left my lips.

  Twyla gestured to the kitchen, sensing I needed to talk.

  There was a box of multicolored snacks sitting on the counter, and I ripped into it.

  “So, no luck with the new matching site?” she asked.

  I slowed down on my fourth sugar cookie.

  “No,” I said, sending crumbs flying.

  “Attractive,” Twyla murmured, reaching out to wipe the edge of my mouth like I was her child.

  “I’m beginning to think it’s me, you know? Is there something wrong with me?”

  “Austy...”

  “You would tell me if there’s something wrong with me, right? Wait, of course you wouldn’t. You’re too nice to hurt my feelings.”

  “But there’s...”

  My feet trod the worn synthi-wood floor again.

  “You’re right. I shouldn’t value myself based on what others think of me. So what if I don’t have a mental filter and say exactly what’s on my mind—maybe someone in the Cluster could find that sexy. I’m still a good person at the end of the day. Maybe my breasts are a little too big for my frame but I have a decent job—although maybe I shouldn’t brag about working for my pa.”

  “It’s your business, too—”

  I ran a palm over my face, distributing cookie crumbs across my cheeks.

  “My life is so empty, T. I see how you and Cedra and Ana and Kit—and hell, even Rhona—have moved on. I see you having these intense, unbreakable bonds...and I want that, you know? I just want someone to look at me and think, Yes, she’s the one. Is that too much to ask, universe?”

  I threw my question to the ceiling.

  “Oh, Austy...”

  “You don’t get it.” The chair clattered as I sat back down on it, leaning close to Twyla. “Each night I dive headfirst into some kind of pornography until I feel like I have a relationship with some of the women I see on-screen. I talk to them sometimes like I know them. How insane is that?”

  I slid my cap off and ran my fingers through my barely-there short-cropped hair.

  “Ten years is a long time to be...”

  “You’re right.” I stood again, a frown touching my brow as I paced. “I don’t think anyone would blame me for going insane.”

  “You’re not—”

  “Lately I’ve been thinking about having a child,” I confessed, scratching my scalp and feeling the soft thorns of my buzz cut brushing over my fingers. “I’m twenty-eight now, that’s a decent age to have one of my own. I mean, it would’ve been great if I had someone to share this with, but fuck it, right? I could do it. I’ve always wanted to be a parent.”

  “Austy, I think you’re spiraling—”

  “Yeah, I think it’s a brilliant idea, too. What was the name of the geneticist you and Cee used? I might give her a call.”

  I stopped short when Twyla stood in front of me, her hands clasping my shoulders.

  “Austy,” she said, her voice firm. I blinked.

  “Yeah?”

  “You need to take a breath. Your mind is racing a mile a minute and you’re not listening to a word I’m saying.”

  “I’m not?”

  Twyla shook her head and I took a deep breath as instructed.

  “First of all, you’re only twenty-eight. And you’re stuck on a Star that doesn’t have a big dating pool. It’s not your fault you’re single. You’re cute and kind and incredible with children—who wouldn’t want you?”

  I felt a splotch of heat on my cheeks.

  A cheeky smile overcame Twyla’s lips. “And who has ever heard of breasts that are too big? There’s no such thing, trust me. If anyone ever tells you they’re too big, they’re wrong and you need to walk away from them. Quickly.”

  I scratched my chest, itchy from the binder pressing against it.

  “Tell you what,” Twyla said, fishing in her pocket for her Touch. She pulled out a couple of candies, pieces of thread and a gauze before she found it. “I’m going to arrange for you to meet someone while you’re in Royal One next weekend.”

  I stiffened immediately, my brows furrowing. “I already told you—I’m not going for that meeting. And I resent that Pa went behind my back to schedule this with your help. My best friend and my father scheming—”

  Twyla sighed, pursing her lips. “He came to me specifically and I thought he had a good business proposal.”

  “To sell away a part of my family’s legacy? No way, Twyla. I can’t get on board with this.”

  The very idea that I’d need to part with a portion of the legacy my great-grandfather had left behind made me feel queasy inside. I’d been entrusted with Burkett’s Dairy’s future, and every fiber of my being told me I needed to keep outsiders from having a say in it.

  Twyla’s hand on my arm was soothing as she spoke. “Think about it this way, Austy—your family will still own the majority of the business. As our Star opens up, Burkett’s Dairy is seeing an increase in demand that you simply can’t meet. With an external party coming in to buy a certain percentage of your business and pumping in extra funds to expand your reach, you’re still growing your family’s legacy, just in a different way. And it’ll help settle some of the outstanding debts.”

  The frown didn’t waver from my face. “I don’t like the idea of a stranger telling me how to run my business.”

  “I get it. I’d hate it if someone were to franchise my catalog. I’m not saying you should say yes to this right now, but at least meet with the investor to hear their plans.”

  “Seems like a waste of time,” I grumbled.

  “Actually, Fernand De Silva is one of the most talented investors I know. He takes small businesses, builds them up, and then sells them for a large profit.”

  I felt my eyes widen in panic. “We are not selling—”

  Twyla patted my arm with patience only a parent could possess. “I know, Austy. I’ve asked him to consult with you and your father to see if his company has any interest in investing in Burkett’s Dairy to help expand your production capacity. Nobody is taking over your family business.”

  “How do you even know this guy?” I asked, tugging at my cap.

  “He was a consultant on the Servana 200 project about ten years ago. He helped us test the market readiness for the bots.”

  “So he’s a marketing guy?”

  “Yes and no, he has a very diverse portfolio. Just trust me, okay? The meeting is only an hour. I’ve already arranged for a hovercraft to pick you and your dad up on Friday at seven in the morning. It’ll take about three or three and a half hours to get to Central Cove District, depending on the traffic. And your appointment is at eleven thirty.”

  I scraped my nails over my scalp in a gesture that betrayed my nerves.

  “I’ve asked my parents’ household staff to open up the guest villa for both of you for the weekend, so you can stay and explore Royal One. I know you’ve never been.”

  I turned away and leaned against the counter, looking out into the endless fields in front of us.

  “And now,” she tapped away on her Touch, “I’m connecting you with my school friend, Leigha. You’ll like her. It’ll seem like she’s permanently overdosed on caffeine shots, but it’s just her personality.”

  Twyla’s Touch chimed.

  “And she says she’s happy to host you. She’ll come get you at the villa at seven on Friday night. So just be ready for that. Maybe wear that navy shirt that brings out your eyes
.”

  “Did you just set me up on a date?”

  My heartbeat quickened at the thought, an image of a faceless, nameless woman hovering above me taking root in my mind.

  “Oh, no, Austy. I’m sorry. I guess I made it sound like one, huh?” Twyla winced as my heart fell, the hope of a potential connection snuffed out like fingers on the end of a matchstick. Fuuuuuck.

  “No, sweetie, Leigha already has a partner, but she’s going to take you out to a club. I promise there’s no shortage of beautiful women on Royal One.”

  I nodded. “I’ve never been to a club before. I’ve seen them in vids and stuff and they look...dark.” The incisions on my nose twitched. “Actually, it looks like it might smell.”

  Twyla laughed. “Trust a Felin to think like that. They sometimes do, but the one she’s taking you to is very nice, or so I’ve heard. A new ladies’ club called Cream. Just trust her, okay? She’s a great wingwoman.”

  “All right. You said you went to school together?”

  A tinge of red colored her cheeks. “We were...involved...for a time, as teenagers.”

  “And you’re still on good terms?”

  Twyla tilted her head, assessing. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

  I thought about Rhona and how I went out of my way to avoid her at all costs, even though it had been ten years since we’d broken up. Well, there hadn’t actually been anything to “break up” as we’d been seeing each other on a casual basis for six months. That is, until the day of Ana and Kit’s wedding where I’d watched her flirt with, and then proceed to kiss, their photographer in front of everyone.

  After almost a decade, the memory still stung. I remembered a bunch of heads turning towards me, the high color on my cheeks and Ana’s hands on my shoulders as she dragged me away to a corner where I couldn’t see what was happening.

  And that had triggered the start of my emotional dry spell. I figured the quick flings at Solstice didn’t really count.

  “I could use a good wingwoman,” I found myself saying, and Twyla’s eyes lit up.

  “Perfect! I knew you’d come around. Maybe we should get you something sexier. Something that shows off your arms. You have really good arms.”